This is the poem I should’ve written before the other one but as you’ll see I brushed it off and went right into feeling happy and aware of what I want. Then I had an inner debate and this is how it ended. I am not happy all the time but I am happy now. What I desire is in the Vortex. I am almost ready.
Acknowledging the Emotions is never a sin,
Anger is not a sin as much as ignoring it,
Hoping that it all goes away,
Why am I so irritated when I chose happiness today,
I did the affirmation for happiness right?
Was it forced or resistance to the actual emotions beyond the surface,
Beyond the surface,
What lives beyond the surface?
Irritation in the moment,
In the moment,
It’s not forever,
Why am I irritated?
Irritated because I heard the words and judgment within,
I allowed it into my space,
To shatter the vision I created of me,
I allowed myself to go back to old beliefs,
It’s okay though,
No need to bury the emotions,
No need to hide behind the anger,
No need to hide behind the rage,
Rage is only pain after all,
Tears that want to flow,
Like a river,
Holding oneself caged in the center,
Every good emotion can come,
Grief that you are missing,
I am missing you,
The you buried within,
Not someone outside with judgement,
I see you,
I call you out,
I am not ashamed,
Should I be?
Should I be anyone other than me?
Should I try to fit into a box?
The one that says you can’t be happy with one person?
The one that says no one exists that wants more than one person?
The one that says you are different,
You only make up about 10% of the Universe and everyone else is the 90%,
They are not interested in what you want?
Who the fuck cares about everyone else?
I did, For a moment,
When I forgot the power within,
I forgot that I was a creator,
I forgot that my soul wants what it wants and it exist,
The desire wouldn’t be there if it didn’t exist,
Tune out the voices,
Tune out the judgement,
They are working on themselves,
Choose happiness again,
You’ve acknowledged it,
You’ve acknowledged the emotion,
Choose happiness again,
Expand beyond the beliefs,
You are more than,
I am more than,
I am leaving behind the judgement,
Time to break the ties,
I forgive me,
I forgive me for believing you,
I forgive me for allowing my subconscious to marinate on the judgement,
I forgive myself for allowing myself to feel the rage behind the pain that I am not worthy when I am,
I forgive myself for allowing the belief to leak back in that no one exist,
I forgive myself for the debate within,
Where ego takes the judgement and the inner being is in release,
I forgive myself,
I choose happiness,
I choose healing,
I choose love,
I choose what serves me,
I choose to release that which does not,
I choose the road to joy in the present, the past and the future,
I am happy.
Peace & Love,